Golden Girls may be off the air but the show remains popular today. A huge part of its charm is the incredible banter between its stars. The show was never afraid to tackle sensitive topics such as race, sexuality, or aging and it did so with humor and wit.
Each character was capable of hurling an insult that could cut through bone. Dorothy had her dry sarcasm, Sophia had old-world charm. Blanche was condescending but hid it with Southern charm and Rose fired off the occasional out-of-character poison too. Here are 10 of the best insults these endearing best friends ever tossed at each other.
May The Force Be With You
Blanche is one of the sassier characters on the show. She rivals Sophia with her sharp tongue. Her character is an exaggeration of southern culture. She may seem sweet on the surface but underneath is a river of passive-aggressive lava. Blanche obviously values herself for her appearance. Looks matter to her so she often attacks other people’s appearance when she feels feisty. She came for Dorothy with a snarky Star Wars reference that took her down a peg. “My mistake. I thought since you looked like Yoda you were also wise.”. This insult not only targets Dorothy’s looks but hits her intelligence too. It’s an impressive dis.
Sick Burn
Dorothy doesn’t have quite the racy love life that some of the other girls have. She’s not undatable but she has different priorities. Finding a man that is impressive enough to hold her interest is no small feat. Dorothy has some high standards.
Sophia is the oldest member of the household. She doesn’t date as much because she’s in a quiet season of life but that doesn’t mean she’s given it up completely. When Dorothy asked her mother not to do anything she wouldn’t do her mom came back with some serious shade. “I think I crossed that line when I got a date,” Sophia snapped.
Social Butterfly
Blanche doesn’t try to hide her love of men and casual dating. She likes to have a good time and isn’t ashamed of herself. Her housemates usually accept her with open arms, but that doesn’t stop them from using it in creative clap backs. Rose is usually known as the nice roommate but she can hold her own in the shade game. When Blanche asks if the other girls know what she hates about leaving a party Rose has a zinger at the ready. “Trying to find your underwear in the big pile?” The joke makes one wonder exactly what kind of parties Rose has been going to.
Sassafrass
Blanche is a Southern belle through and through. She’s refined, sophisticated, and sassy. She has the polished manners you might expect from a proud Southerner but that doesn’t mean she’s always sweet.
When Blanche is in a bad mood she’s not afraid to let people know. Blanche entered the shared kitchen in a grumpy state. Rose greeted her brightly. Blanche was having none of it. “Must you always be so cheerful you empty-headed Mary Poppins knock-off?” Blanche asked with a fake smile.
Delicate Lady Sasquatch
Tall girls face a lot of heat for their size. Outdated beauty standards would have us all believe that women must be tiny and demure to be beautiful. Dorothy is not tiny and demure. She’s a towering goddess. She’s a monument to female power. Her mother loves her very deeply but she still can’t resist picking on her little girl for her impressive stature. Maybe Sophia’s insults stem from insecurity. After all, Dorothy’s mom is a tiny lady. When Dorothy snubs a lover Sophia expresses her approval of the match. “He’s perfect for you. He knows your shoe size and he doesn’t care,” she tells her single daughter.
Subtle Jab
First impressions are not always right. Sometimes people instantly hit it off only to have their friendship fizzle out. Other times we may get to know someone and grow to like them more and more. After you’ve gotten to know someone it can be interesting to know what they thought of you when they first met you.
Blanche asks Rose what she thought of her when the two first met. Rose says “I thought you wore too much makeup and you were a slut,” she answers. Blanche is stunned. Rose adds: “I was wrong, you don’t wear too much makeup.”.
It Breathes
Blanche would like to think she’s the most beautiful and fashionable of the girls. Rose has certainly shined herself up like a new penny in a few episodes. Any time Rose looks fantastic Blanche just has to give her a backhanded compliment. It’s the Southern culture in her. As Rose stands, looking fantastic in a beautiful green dress Blanche says: “I’ll say! To the untrained eye that polyester could almost pass for silk!”.
Fashion Faux Pas
Sophia derives a lot of joy from insulting her daughter. Maybe it’s to pay her back for the pain of childbirth. In Sophia’s defense, Dorothy isn’t always the most respectful daughter. She’s been known to take her mom down a peg, too. Dorothy is doubtful that her mom has met someone famous. Sophia only sees sour grapes. “Jealousy is a very ugly thing.” “So are you in anything backless.” Sophia replies.
Tell Us How You Really Feel
Poor Dorothy. She’s frequently picked on for her appearance. Dorthy raised some concerns about her dress and Blanche took the opportunity to sling an insult. “Since when do you care about how you look?” she asked.
Out Of The Blue
Sweet Rose is usually known as the kindest lady on the show. She’s often picked on for being a little slower than her roommates. Sometimes she surprises her roommates with her intelligence. While discussing mental health she pulls out some four-dollar words. When asked where she learned them she claims to be an avid reader of a scientific journal. Blanche says she simply refuses to believe that Rose could regularly read such heady material. On her way out of the room, Rose says: “Believe what you want, see if I care. Hyper-sexual bitc…”. You don’t have to be a psychology major to figure out the rest.
